Saturday 6 April 2013

Back From Seattle

About a week ago I arrived back to the campus from Seattle, so I thought it would be apt for me to elaborate on my time there. I've been feeling quite poor lately in a lot of ways, but I'm hoping I can still write about my time there and have it make sense.

We did a number of different tasks at the shelter which included: serving meals, organizing and cleaning rooms / storage spaces, spending time with the kids, outdoor work, and more. Being around the kids there went better than I thought it would. I didn't spend a lot of time around them, but when I did, I felt as though it went okay. I read a story book to some Kindergarten students (Engine, Engine, Number Nine), and helped with some Math and Spelling. It kind of made me miss working on Math worksheets. I'd like to try out some Grade 11 Math problems and see how far I'd get without giving up. I also spent some time with a few kids who were around the ages of 10 - 12, and hung out with a kid named Daniel, which was really fun. We played a lot of rounds of Uno, tried out volleyball with a balloon, and just goofed off.

I was nervous about socializing with the women at the shelter as well. However, we didn't have as many opportunities to socialize as I thought we would, since we spent a lot of time working around the building. I did talk to some of them a few times, but I didn't get into too many conversations. I learnt that people can appreciate your actions though, and learn from them. After we were finished our two weeks of work, we were called to the front during one of the morning meetings (which occurred nearly every morning), and many of the women thanked us for being there. They observed how we worked with each other, and were so appreciative of how we worked. I can't remember exactly what was said, but they said things along the lines of us "bringing love into the building". That was such an encouraging part of the trip to me. I was also really encouraged when the staff thanked us. I was reminded that asking something as simple as "How are you doing?" can be healing to a person. Showing care is a struggle of mine a lot of times.

Going to Seattle was difficult for me, but it was worth it. In the paragraph following this one, I will document some of my struggles through some thoughts I wrote down in my notebook on a Sunday morning.

"Do you believe Jesus is God?

The Bible says that Jesus Christ is the only Savior. Do other religions / spiritual books speak against different teachings / teachers / religions?

What does it mean to really believe?

It's so difficult to believe that a situation like the crucifixion could actually happen. I'm a physical person, surrounded by physical people, physical objects, physical places. How can I believe that something supernatural could happen, when I'm in this physical, limited world? There is an ache inside of me that wants more, but is that simply greed / selfish ambitions? Maybe not, because I want to give my life up for Christ. Is this physicality all that I have?

Will I make the choice to seek something above myself, or will I doubt that there is anything above the human condition? If I seek something above myself, something not man made, I believe that I could find something more. If I doubt that there is something above me, I will spend my life trying to prove something that is truly meaningless. But how can you argue against the possibility that we are all wasting time living without much care, or seeking something more that does not exist? If there wasn't something past physicality and man made objects, why would I (and many other people) spend time debating on whether or not a higher deity really existed? Where would all these religions come from? But ... there are also some people who are satisfied , who don't care about their soul. What about these people?"

As you observed, this was a time where I was debating with myself a lot. Many times I really have trouble believing that there is something more out there. 

I'll close with one of the key lessons I learnt on this trip, through a piece of a poem that I'm working on ...

You hang above me
Yet you're under my skin
You are more
You are more than the body I wake up and fall asleep in every morning, and every evening

I will hopefully be posting some pictures tonight. Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Graham

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